sometimes this world is too big for me, or this life just seems to full, too many things are all around me and inside my head, so many thoughts to be thought, fights to be fought, decisions to be took and somewhere in this great big chaos is littleMe. I thought for myself that I would only be doing a wrap up of how my last year was, and put down some ideas, goals, resolutions - call it however you want - for the next year once this term will be over. This terrible term. Don't believe people who tell you that their LCP year has been the best year of their @life. It might very well be the most intense one, especially if you happen to never in your life work in an MC. Ok, I have to admit that it already looks like a better experience than it did 2 months ago, and the longer I'll be away from it, the better it will look. A lot of things could have worked out differently, better in some sense, but to make one true statement: you only regret the things you don't do, never the things you do. Why I'm in this mood? We had a talk tonight which was somehow to clear things a bit out for my potential successor which will (if nothing happens until next wednesday, and even after elections you never now what happens, especially if you're always expecting the worst case) be my real successor too. Anyhow, it was to make her run for LCP, full stop. I realized a lot of things during this year, maybe too many. It made me become cynical, frustrated, stressed and then the same all over again. It has also made me think a lot more about myself, even though I would never admit this as I don't want people to think that I've been even naiver and more ignorant than I am now. I've also realized what is good for me and what isn't, how tough it is to take a decision, that you need to accept the limited ressources and influence you have on a lot of things, that some people will never be my friends, what my flaws are, what little things I really like that make me happy, that there is so much I want to know more about but also that I get bored to easily and that I'm not perseverant enough. Soooo many things, too many of them. I'm afraid that once I have learned more and experienced more, I'll already be too old... for what actually... next thing I have to do is think about not what lies behind me but what lies ahead of me. Or maybe first where I am right now :-) mmmhhh... I love structure. Just one last thing before it's time to go to bed: I rediscovered the following, saw it first exactly a year ago, at EuroExpro in Milano. To be remembered once a year is a good frecuency I think, but I actually downloaded it once 6 months ago...
Baz Luhrmann: Everybody's Free (To Wear Sunscreen)
Wear sunscreen.
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.
Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.
Don't worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4 p.m. on some idle Tuesday.
Do one thing every day that scares you.
Sing.
Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.
Floss.
Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself.
Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.
Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements.
Stretch.
Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't.
Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them when they're gone.
Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else's.
Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.
Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.
Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.
Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.
Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings. They're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.
Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.
Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft. Travel.
Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.
Respect your elders.
Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out.
Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're 40 it will look 85.
Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.
But trust me on the sunscreen.
Listening to:
Fatboy Slim: Right Here, Right Now
Disclaimer (I think that's what it's called...): this is a rather personal entry, as you may have noticed. Don't care. This is not (only) a space to share cool ideas, events, stories, but also a way for myself to put down personal thoughts. They're mine. I don't mind if you'll forget all of this in five seconds. No actually I would if I knew that people that are close to me would read it. Now, to be honest, this is not too often the case, that's why this little paragraph has been written.
PASSENGER NAME RENFER/SARAHMRS 12FEB84
I am a generalist.
